By Fr. Charles Van Winkle, C.S.C.
Loving Father, grant that we in childlike faith may be fully open to Jesus, your Liberating IncarnateWord of Truth, whom you, Holy Spirit continuously wish to manifest in our lives.
It was said at the wake of the deceased, “He was so optimistic that he bought a burial suit with two pairs of trousers.”
After his physical, the patient was told he had only six months to live. “Doc, is there anything I can do?”
“Well, as a matter of fact there is. Get rid of all your possessions, move out into the boondocks into a shack without plumbing, electricity, or heating, and marry a woman with twelve kids.”
“Doc, will this give me more time?”
“No, but it will be the longest six months of your life.”
The prospect of death does not make the following Scriptures any less applicable: “Rejoice in the Lord always. I shall say it again: rejoice” (Phil 4:4)! “Rejoice always. In all circumstances give thanks, for this is the will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thes 5:16,18). “We know that God makes all things work for the good of those who love God, who are called according to his purpose” (Rm 8:28).
But some people have not forgiven God for the death of a loved one. For example, a lady wrote to Ann Landers, “Last January it was two years since our daughter Karen died. Don’t tell me God never makes a mistake. You mean he did this on purpose!?”
If the mother believes in a better life hereafter, hopefully she will finally realize God has already called her daughter to receive what is best for her. There is death that we may have life to the fullest. And even though accepting the truth may momentarily cause a bit of pain, if with the strength of Jesus we persevere, we will eternally reign.
We don’t ask ourselves if some day we are going to die because it seems all too evident. However, in the dictionary one can find this definition of “die”: “To stop living; to pass out of existence.” Fact: Only the body finally ceases to function, has the demise. Bodies, not people, are buried in cemeteries. In the cemetery adjacent to the Old Cathedral in Vincennes, Ind., is the perfect tombstone inscription: “Here lies the body of Janne Boneaux who departed this world at age 28, Nov. 15, 1800.”
At wake services it is not unusual to hear comments regarding the deceased such as, “He looks good, doesn’t he?” “She looks so peaceful.” Since the embalmed is not a living person but a lifeless body, the expression of peace is not surprising.
On one occasion the corpse had a smile on its face, and someone asked a relative of the deceased, “Why the smile on his face?”
“Well, he wasn’t too bright. He was climbing a tree during a thunderstorm and was struck by lightning.”
“But why the smile on his face?”
“He thought they were taking his picture.”
In the first preface for the Mass of the departed we pray, “Life is changed, not ended.” We in truth speak of the faithful “departed.” We graduate to the fullness of life. “But the souls of the just are in the hand of God, and no torment shall touch them. They seemed in the view of the foolish to be dead; and their passing away was thought an affliction and their going forth from us, utter destruction. But they are in peace” (Wis 3:1-3).
“We know that when the earthly tent in which we dwell is destroyed, we have a dwelling provided for us by God, a dwelling in the heavens, not made by hands, but to last forever. We know that while we dwell in the body we are away from the Lord. We walk by faith, not by sight. I repeat, we are full of confidence, and would much rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord” (2 Cor 5:1,6-8).
“This is how it will be when the dead are raised to life. When the body is buried, it is mortal; when raised, it will be immortal. When buried, it is a physical body; when raised, it will be a spiritual body. Just as we wear the likeness of the person made of earth, so we will wear the likeness of the Man from heaven. So when what is mortal has been clothed with what is immortal, and when what will die has been clothed with what cannot die, then the Scripture will come true: ‘Death is destroyed, victory is complete’” (1 Cor 15: 42-44,49,54)!
“Jesus Christ will give a new form to this lowly body of ours and remake it according to the pattern of his glorified body” (Phil 3:21).
In Boston I was in the seminary with a Father Edmund Dunn who writes a question and answer column for his diocesan newspaper. When asked, “What do we mean by resurrection of the body?” he replied, “Resurrection does not mean a reviving of the physical body as we know it. Our belief in resurrection of the body is based on what occurred in Jesus being raised to a new life. The Gospel writers stress two basic points concerning the resurrected Christ; he was radically changed–they didn’t recognize him at first–and yet he was definitely the same–the one they had followed. He appeared and disappeared–not limited by time and space, and yet he ate with them and even showed them his wounded hands. Our belief in resurrection is based on the conviction that we could not be who we are without our bodies. And yet our bodies will be radically transformed–glorified, as St. Paul suggests.”
Therefore, “Life is real, life is earnest, and the grave is not its goal. Dust thou art to dust returnest was not spoken of the soul. And so, do not stand at my grave and weep, I am not there, I do not sleep. Do not stand at my grave and cry. I am not there, I did not die.”
This does not mean we are not to shed tears at the final departure of a loved one. Jesus wept at the departure of Lazarus. And the late writer Washington Irving wrote, “There is a sacredness in tears. They are not a mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently that 10,000 tongues.”
But if we accept the fact that only the body has the demise, we will not be overwhelmed at the “death” of a loved one. For example, if after being employed for many years you finally receive a promotion and raise, and then excitedly share the good news with your best friend, it would be ridiculous for your friend to respond, “Gee, I’m certainly sorry to hear that.”
It makes much less sense to be devastated when a loved one receives the greatest possible promotion and raise to the fullness of life. As St. Paul reminds us, “We would have you be clear about those who sleep in death, brothers and sisters, otherwise you might yield to grief, like those who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose, God will bring forth with him those also who have fallen asleep believing in him. Thenceforth we shall be with the Lord unceasingly. Console one another with this message” (1 Thes 4:13-15,17b).
In our daily living, how can the truth that only the body will cease to function help us along the way to our final graduation day? (1) We will not unduly mourn over the final departure of a loved one. (2) No matter how heavy our daily cross, we can be mindful that time is brief, especially relative to the eternity of perfect happiness. (3) The brevity of time should remind us to be serious about fulfilling our commission to live the Two Great Commandments. (4) Being mindful of the hereafter, we should be motivated to live a life of childlike faith in Jesus in anticipation of the mansion reserved for us. (5) The fact that life is changed and not ended should help us overcome the fear of dying. (6) With confidence we can pray for healing knowing that God will grant us whatever healing is best for us right up to our final graduation moment. (7) We can look forward to being reunited with our departed loved ones.
After a serious operation, the patient opened his eyes and asked, “How did it go, Doc?”
“What do you mean ‘Doc?’ I am St. Peter.” (I hope you realize that is good news.)
In the Letter to the Hebrews we are exhorted, “Therefore, since we for our part are surrounded by this cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every encumbrance of sin which clings to us and persevere in running the race that lies ahead” (Heb 12:1). Among the angels and saints that form the cloud of witnesses are our departed loved ones. And they are saying to you and me, “Get serious about the little time you have left to realize, ‘Eye has not seen, ear has not heard, nor has it so much dawned on man what God has prepared for those who love him’” (1Cor 2:9). Or as the two ladies who entered heaven together said, “Wow! Just think, if we hadn’t eaten all of that oat bran, we could have been here five years ago!”
But how to get serious? Jesus says, “The person who obeys my commandments is the person who loves me” (Jn 14:21). And St. John reminds us, “His commandments are not burdensome” (l Jn 5:3b). But if a person is not familiar with and living the Faith-Love Principle, one will be encountering the same dilemma that plagued St. Paul during a period of his life. That is, he cried out in anguish that although he wanted to live the GOD, the Good Orderly Direction, he wasn’t able to. It was only after he realized, acknowledged and accepted his total dependence on God through childlike faith in Jesus, that he was able to live the truth that set him free.
Likewise, the Holy Spirit reminds us, “Without faith it is impossible to please God” (Heb 11:6a). And, “Let us keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, who inspires and perfects our faith” (Heb 12:2). Accordingly, Jesus tells us, “He who lives in me and I in him will produce abundantly, for apart from me you can do nothing” (Jn 15:5). And so Jesus assures us that if we live the Faith-Love Principle in relation to him, the Fruits of the Holy Spirit–Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self control” (Gal 5:22,23)–will flourish in our lives.
Regarding your final graduation day, it is paramount that you know how to react if you are conscious when the time has come. St. Peter reminds us that “Your opponent the devil is prowling like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him solid in your faith” (1 Pt 5:8,9). And concerning your faith in Jesus, Peter says, “Cast all your cares on him because he cares for you” (l Pt 5:7).
Therefore, even though the devil will be roaring the loudest at your final departure time, Jesus has the victory over the devil and reminds us to live the Faith-Love Principle in order to share in his victory. Again, no matter what the temptation, immediately mentally respond, “No, in the name of Jesus,” and then mentally continue to repeat the word “Jesus” to the rhythm of your breathing.
If any temptation does take hold regarding past sins, remember that Holy Mother Church teaches that if you have any doubt regarding seriousness of past sins and/or whether or not you properly confessed them, you are in the state of sanctifying grace. But if you are certain you have committed unconfessed mortal sins, to attain the state of sanctifying grace simply make an act of perfect love or contrition; that is, an act of sorrow because you have offended God who is worthy of all your love, and have the intention of confessing the mortal sin(s) if given the opportunity. And be aware that in making the act of perfect love or contrition, even though it may be difficult or impossible to formulate words, all that is necessary is for you to make an act of the will regarding your sorrow.
Don’t try to limit God’s infinite love and mercy. “God is love” (1 Jn 4:16a). “If we are unfaithful he will still remain faithful, for he cannot deny himself” (2 Tm 2:13). “The Son of Man has come to search and save what was lost” (Lk 19:10). In other words, God is looking for warm bodies with good will. Accordingly, you don’t have to ask God for what is best for you. As the God of infinite love and mercy, he can only will what is best for you. Therefore, simply pray to be open in faith to what God wills for you.
When the 100-year-old man was asked what he attributed his longevity to, he replied, “I just keep breathing.” To emphasize: No matter what the temptation, as you continue to breathe the word “Jesus,” you are exercising steadfast childlike faith in your Savior and Healer. “Lord, you will keep in perfect peace the person whose mind is stayed on you” (Is 26:3). “God is love” (l Jn 4:16a), and “…perfect love casts out all fear” (1 Jn 4:8a). Be positive: Thank God that you are going to graduate to the fullness of life to experience the eternal “Wow!”
Regarding the final departure of a loved one, with the shortage of ordained priests, one may not be available to minister the Sacrament of the Sick. Regardless, you can effectively exercise your baptismal priesthood. Even though the beloved may not appear to be conscious, being aware that the person may still be able to hear, you can minister to him or her as stated above as you would minister to yourself at your time of final graduation. Above all, remind the person to apply the Faith-Love Principle and to continue to breathe “Jesus.”
Finally, one day when I was in the 4th grade at St. Benedict elementary school in Evansville, Ind., the Benedictine Nun was reading to us the life of a martyr. Being so overwhelmed by the suffering the martyr had endured, I frantically raised my hand before Sister had finished reading. “Charles,” she exclaimed, “what is it?”
“Sister, I could never put up with that suffering.”
“Charles,” she said, “right now you don’t have to, but if the time were to come, Jesus would be there with you for all you would need to Persevere.”
And so, regarding final departure day, “If God is for us, who can be against us? Is it possible that he who did not spare his own Son but handed him over for the sake of us all will not grant us all things besides” (Rm 8:31a,32)?
Just when a caterpillar thinks it’s going to die, it becomes a butterfly. Jesus says, “I am the resurrection and the life; and whoever believes in me, though the person should die will come to life; and whoever is alive and believes in me will never die” (Jn 11:26). “O Lord, you changed my mourning into dancing; O Lord, my God, forever will I give you thanks” (Ps 30:12). “O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting? But thanks be to God who has given us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ” (I Cor 15:55,57).